“Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… do come and gather round for the latest in theme parks! Forget Disney! Forget Six Flags! Universal? That’s small peas compared to what we offer! Come on over and indulge your religious behaviour, whichever religion you believe in, at the Religion Theme Park”

Head over to the different rides and games, where you can ride on Krishna’s hands or the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodly Appendage! Get an FSM plush toy by pinning the hand on Krishna or hitting Buddha directly on his belly! Go ahead and visit Jesus’s Tent, with his world renowned magic of coming back from the dead three days after being killed, feeding a crowd of 5,000 people with only five small loaves of bread and two fishes and making the best wine out of nothing but water! Jump on Buddha’s belly! There’s fun for each and every one of Whichever God You Might Prefer creatures!

Please… ignore the masses of obsessive religious people who try to block your way to fun and enlightenment! They hold on to their own personal version of the Truth and don’t accept others. They have been damaged or educated in a way that they need to hold on to their Truth and can’t see how other Truths would help. They don’t understand that maybe, just maybe, all Truths are one. Their choice of Deity could just be a different aspect of a fun, all knowing, all loving God.

What’s the cost of each ride? Not much, or probably the highest cost ever, depends on how you see it. Your beliefs. If you leave your beliefs at the entrance of our Religion park, you’ll get every ride for free. You just have to stop thinking you own the only Truth. It could be that you only have a little bit of the truth, and the Catholics have some other little piece, the Buddhists another and so on. We search so much for one truth, and when we find bits and pieces of it, we hang on to it as if our life depended on it. Can you imagine, the Catholic Old Testament God, always angry and vengeful? Or what about Buddha, who doesn’t believe in evil? and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, sanctifying pirates.

Come on, forget your beliefs… He (or she) in any of the forms that have been taken over history, didn’t come to Earth to scare us. He(She) came to help us out.

We have a fun God to celebrate! As someone once said “Take sex for example. There’s nothing funnier then the faces people make mid-coitus.” If God had wanted sex to be scary, dangerous and taboo, (S)He wouldn’t have made it so pleasurable. And, come on, if you’ve watched porn when you’re not horny, you KNOW it’s true. Sex is funny looking!

Just come in, have fun, enjoy the rides. God wouldn’t want you to NOT have fun!