There was a time when I jokingly said I wanted to go to live in Canada, or in Reykjavik, but deep down I always knew that I wouldn’t ever want to leave my country. I love Mexico. I love my city. I love the people that surround me.

But I don’t want to be here anymore. I despise my State governor, I despise everyone who has anything to do with the government. Everyone is corrupt to the core. I would like to see one single government person who is not doing it for the money, but for the people. One single person that’s in power and stands up and says “Wait a minute… this isn’t right”

Few of you know how my youngest brother disappeared before all this drug stuff even started to escalate. He was definitely involved with THE wrong crowd. Before this “drug war” started going on, my brother was involved with drugs, and “higher up” drug people. He ended up making a mistake in their eyes and now I no longer have two brothers, I have one. I’m angry at this. I’m afraid of it.

I have to apologize with my U.S. friends because I personally think you are all completely AWESOME, but, I hate, hate, HATE your country. Your country is selling the drug lords the guns and grenades they need easily. And if you don’t have stricter guns rules because all of you think your “right to bear arms” amendment is so damn precious, we’ll keep dying. But what’s some Mexicans to the most vocal part of the United States? (Again, most of you are awesome, and I know a few of you have guns in your homes and know how to use them responsibly. I’m talking about those who think the right to bear arms is overpowering to saving thousands of good people’s lives)

I’m tired of watching, reading and hearing the news. Every time there’s someone dead. Every time there’s a huge avenue or two in my city blocked because the drug guys just want to fuck us up. Every fucking time there’s a bad thing happening that’s drug related. I can see it anywhere. From local newspapers, to international ones. And I read those daily. Just last night, there was another (yes, another as in, it has happened before) shooting near my home. Near other friends’ homes there have also been 5, 10, 15 shootings. People killed. Granades shot. TONS of Marihuana found. BBC, NBC, CNN, El Norte, Reforma… I’ve seen them all.

As citizens, we can’t do much. We DO NOT have easy access to guns. Though I think if I went to the States I could get my own easily… but could I shoot in self defense? Maybe. Do I have the moral fiber to shoot ANYONE? No.

I hate we have to sit and watch. I hate I have to see my government DO NOTHING. My State’s government election motto was “My life for my state”. If this is so, why, Mr. Medina, please tell me why, do we have to live HERE and get killed by these guys while you comfortably live in the U.S. and use our tax money to fly back and forth? Can I do that too? I mean, if you stopped hiking up the taxes and gasoline like crazy, maybe I could have some money to get out of this country now and then. Please Mr. Medina, tell me, why haven’t you done most of the stuff you promised? Please, Mr. Medina, tell me, tell us, what are you REALLY doing to stop the drug wars and the blocked avenues, and the grenades, and the killings?

I am disappointed at my corrupt government. The government that decides by itself that they should have a higher salary, from MY taxes, a higher Christmas bonus, that also, you guessed it, comes from Mexican People taxes. Those idiots that get iPads just because they wanted them… also with our money.

For fucks sake, WE HIRED THESE PEOPLE to work for us, for our country, and, as good little cowards, they use OUR MONEY to take a helicopter back and forth from the U.S.

I THINK I’m supposedly a Middle Class Mexican. I’ve studied in the best schools, have had great work experience, master both Spanish and English, a bit of Icelandic and a bit of French, and yet, I do not have enough income to even start thinking about buying a house. Because of Taxes. Because we’re paying for our governor to live in the U.S…. Because we’re paying our senators and congress people Christmas Bonuses they auto-approved or pay increases they auto-approved with no consensus of their constituents. I don’t feel like a middle class Mexican. I feel a lower class Mexican that won’t be able to get her own home and has to keep on living with her parents not because she doesn’t earn good money, but because government won’t leave us be.

I’m tired of this country. I’m tired of Mexico. This time, I’m serious. I am afraid of what will happen to me at some point with all these things that are happening. If my foreign friends know of any legal way I can go to their country, please DO tell me. This country is hell. This country is unsafe, no matter what anyone tells you. Don’t come here.

And remember, if you can help me get the fuck out of here legally, please do. I’m tired of this shit. I would work anywhere in Reykjavik, happily and just to get out of here.